New Year’s Resolutions You Should Make
These celebrity experts say you should have more sex, eat better, declutter and live large in 2009
If you’re like most Canadians, your New Year’s resolutions involve losing weight, crunching credit-card debt, getting fit and being a better person. All worthy goals. Often, however, we make our resolutions too broad and impractical for them to be achievable, says Richard Koestner, a McGill University psychology professor who studies human motivation. So, we asked a variety of well-known experts to weigh in with a suggestion of a single, easy-to-do action that could have a meaningful impact on your health, your relationships, your finances and your psyche in 2009. Just one thing—it’s that easy. Now, take your pick!
1. Say yes to sex! "Sex provides cardiovascular and other physical health benefits, can improve mood and alleviate depression, give you a better night’s sleep, and, perhaps most importantly, restore your connection with your partner," says Dr. Robin Milhausen, a sexuality researcher at the University of Guelph, and host of the Discovery Health Network’s show, Sex, Toys and Chocolate. "Don’t have a partner? Go it alone!" 2. Make fruit smoothies for breakfast. "That’s an example of a very specific goal related to reaching the recommendations in Canada’s Food Guide," says Dr. Marco Di Buono, director of research at the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Ontario. "Or, switch to whole grain breads and pastas to get more fibre in your diet. By picking a very specific resolution, your chances of healthy eating success will increase and you’ll be on the way to a heart healthy lifestyle."3. Distinguish who your true friends are. "Deciding who is in your inner circle—the people who will always be there for you—makes it much simpler to refuse those who are not and to keep your boundaries tight," says Susan Newman, a social psychologist and author of The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It—and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. "It’s the best way to protect your time and conserve your energy for the people you want to help."
4. Eat fewer salty, processed foods. "Ask for nutrition information at restaurants, especially regarding calories, saturated-fat and sodium levels," says Bill Jeffery, national coordinator of the Centre for Science in the Public Interest, a health and nutrition advocacy group which publishes the Nutrition Action Newsletter. "Three-quarters of salt consumed by Canadians comes from processed foods—very little is naturally occurring or added at home at the stove or dinner table."5. Use a pedometer to motivate you to walk more. "A recent study revealed that Canadians who owned a pedometer were more likely to engage in sufficient walking to maintain overall health," says Kelly Murumets, president and CEO of ParticipACTION.
6. Take snuggle breaks. "When life gets too hectic, give your partner a ten-second kiss or hug—it takes your focus away from the stress and helps you relax," says Dr. Trina Read, a Calgary sexologist and author of Till Sex Do Us Part: Make Your Married Sex Irresistible.
7. Eat more nuts, seeds, avocados and fish. "Healthy oils in these can have a positive impact on your mood, immune function, cardiovascular health and the health of your skin, hair and nails," says Louise Shaw, a Toronto-based naturopathic doctor.
8. Tack on five extra minutes to every workout. "If you exercise an average of three days per week at a moderate pace, you’ll have zapped about 4,700 extra calories in 2009," says Amanda Vogel, a certified fitness professional in Vancouver.
9. Declutter your life. "The biggest contributor to clutter is that people don’t have routines," says Peter Walsh, an expert on TLC’s Clean Sweep and author of It’s All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff. "When you dirty a plate, wash it or put it in the dishwasher. When you open the mail, throw out the junk items and put the rest where it belongs. When you take off an item of clothing, put it away. No matter what you do, complete the cycle."
10. Take 1,000 IU of vitamin D every day. "This can improve health, reducing the risk of diabetes, osteoporosis, heart disease and many types of cancer, including breast and colon cancer," says Aileen Burford-Mason, an immunologist and President of the Holistic Health Research Foundation of Canada.
11. Trust your parenting instincts. "Often, well-meaning friends and family members bombard us with advice, some of which may be a great fit for us, and some of which may be totally out of sync with our basic beliefs about parenting," says Ann Douglas, a parenting expert and author of Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler. "If you tune into that inner voice, you can find solutions that work for your child and your family."
12. Use the "fork trick". "When ordering a salad, ask for dressing on the side," suggests Ramona Josephson, a registered dietitian and author of a weight-loss program, the 90 Calorie DEAL. "Dip your fork into the dressing, the salad and then into your mouth." This will save you 90 calories—equal to 9.5 pounds if you ate a salad every day.
13. Unclutter your soul. "Write a diary, enroll yourself in an expressive art class, talk to an old friend or schedule a couple of sessions with a counselor or a therapist," suggests Valentin Shulman, a psychotherapist and life coach. Purging unresolved issues, repressed memories and unexpressed feelings frees us to enjoy new life experiences, he says.
5 New Year’s Resolutions You Should Never Make
Setting vague or unrealistic goals makes achieving them near impossible
Thinking of pulling a Jennifer Lopez and dropping 40 pounds in five weeks this New Year’s? Or, maybe following Oprah or some other celebrity weight loss (or yo-yo) diet scheme? Think again. There’s nothing wrong with making healthy New Year’s resolutions like quitting smoking, getting fit, fighting flab or cutting back your unnecessary expenses, say the experts—but they won’t work unless they focus on informed, specific and daily behaviour changes that you’re truly committed to. "Fifty percent of people drop their resolution after a month," says Richard Koestner, a McGill University psychologist who studies human motivation. "So, resolvers really need to focus on getting off to a good start and developing strategies to make the goal automatic and habitual." To help you out, here’s a list of resolutions to avoid, while still making your New Year’s dreams a reality.
1. "I want to lose 50 pounds in three months."
First off, shedding more than two pounds a week isn’t healthy. But the other challenge is that this goal is too focused on an unrealistic outcome, rather than a sustainable process that could help you achieve the weight loss, says Dr. Jean-Marc Assaad, a Montreal psychologist and director at PsyMontréal Inc. "The benchmark of a good goal is that it’s specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely," he adds. "Rather than saying ‘I want lose 20 pounds,’ the process goal should be, ‘I want to fill half my plate with vegetables every day.’" Indeed, exercising daily and eating five, portion-controlled fibre- and protein-rich meals each day will really help you battle the bulge over time, says Ramona Josephson, a Vancouver registered dietitian and president of Weightlossdeal.com.
2. "I’m going to stop spending money."
Sounds great, but the reality is you still need money to live. Rather than making vague resolutions or grandiose plans to save thousands more than you’ve ever saved before, simply start by trying to balance your income and expenses. "I can guarantee you that most people spend more time shopping for a camera than looking at their finances," says Robert Abboud, an Ottawa-based certified financial planner and author of No Regrets: A Common Sense Guide to Achieving and Affording Your Life Goals. Analyze how much you make and how much you spend, put your credit cards in the deep freeze and pay for everything in cash so you know exactly when the money runs out, he says. Then, put aside chunks of cash towards short-term goals such as a trip, and long-term goals like RRSPs. "You’d be surprised how few people know their magic number when it comes to retirement, when you can find out in five minutes online," says Abboud.
3. "I’m going to give up drinking because my wife won’t stop bugging me about it."
If the resolution isn’t something that YOU really want, chances are it will fail. "I’ve reviewed over a dozen studies which show that when people select resolutions that connect with their interests and personal values, they are significantly more likely to make progress than if they pursue a goal because of external pressures," says Richard Koestner, a McGill University psychologist who studies human motivation. That doesn’t mean you should keep drinking, however. Just reflect on why you’re setting the resolution and do a mental exercise where you outline specifically how, when and where you’ll pursue it. Start by doing an online questionnaire such as "Are you an alcoholic?", for instance, and then investigate programs through Alcoholics Anonymous or your local mental health association.
4. "I want to quit smoking cold turkey."
"There’s always some friend or distant relative who supposedly quit cold turkey, but for 99.9 percent of the real population, it usually takes several attempts," says Assaad. What’s more, he says, you’d be crazy not to take advantage of the free help lines and proven medications and nicotine-replacement products that, in combination, boost your likelihood of butting out for good from five to thirty percent. Writing down why you want to stop smoking, anticipating challenges and how you’ll overcome them, and finding a quit buddy can also help you say sayonara to cigarettes forever.
5. "I’m going to stop being such a bad friend/employee/whatever."
This goal is too vague, for starters. "Over 100 studies show that when a goal is supplemented with a cognitive plan for exactly when, where and how one will pursue it, people make significantly greater progress," says Koestner. Second, it’s all about the negative. Stating goals in positive terms—something you want to approach rather than avoid—will result in greater success. So a better resolution might be to say, ‘I’m going to call my friends once a week and remind myself by scheduling it in my daytimer’, or, ‘I’m going to get to work on time by going to bed before 11 p.m. each night and catching the 7:45 a.m. bus each day.’ Finally, don’t forget to cut yourself some slack and give yourself credit for all of the things you DID achieve in the last year. "You may be surprised by how many things you accomplished," says Koestner. How can you build on those successes?
Top 8 resolutions for 2009
8 tips on making positive changes this January
This year, common New Year’s resolutions about shedding pounds, slashing personal debt, being more environmentally friendly and improving our relationships are taking on new urgency. After all, the economy has just taken a huge hit, climate change is accelerating and two-thirds of Canadians are overweight or obese--so we need those solid friendships to help us through more than ever! It’s understandable to be concerned. (Hey, even Britney Spears is trying to control her worrying, despite her recent comeback.) The silver lining to this gloomy news is that there are plenty of easy New Year’s resolutions you can choose that will make a difference this year—in your own life and others. Here’s a list of the top resolutions to consider for 2009.
Declutter, recycle and make some cash. Go through closets, drawers, kitchen cabinets, and book cases to find stuff that you haven’t used in the past 12 months. "But don’t throw away; remember that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure," says Anne Hepfer, an interior designer in Toronto. Donate the items to charity or sell them on Ebay.ca or Craigslist.org for money to save or put against debt. Follow the "one in, one out" rule, too, says Ellen Phillips, author of Kick The Clutter: Clear Out Excess Stuff Without Losing What You Love. "If there’s a new issue of your favorite magazine in the mailbox, drop off an old one at the library," she adds. "Or, if you couldn’t resist those adorable handmade mittens, Goodwill is waiting for your old pair."
Help improve public policy on food. "If a few thousand letters from Canadians landed on the desk of the federal (or provincial) Minister of Health, the curtain would have already fallen on artery-clogging trans fats and junk-food marketing to children," says Bill Jeffery, national coordinator of the Centre for Science in the Public Interest, a health and nutrition advocacy group. Making a difference in 2009 could mean less fattening and sodium-laden food for all of us. Visit cspinet.org to find out more about issues and campaigns you can write your MP and MPP about, such as healthy, subsidized school meals for Canadian school kids.
Get a handle on excessive worrying. Yes, even Britney Spears has recently admitted to worrying too much, despite the overwhelming success of her new album, Circus. Some degree of anxiety and worry is healthy, according to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, but if anxious thoughts, predictions and beliefs are causing negative or chronic physical symptoms and behaviour changes, talk to your doctor. There are more effective anxiety treatments today than ever before.
Stop the debt freight train. "In addition to credit cards, we’ve all used our lines of credit as secondary debt and even amalgamated these into our mortgages," says Robert Abboud, an Ottawa-based certified financial planner and author of No Regrets: A Common Sense Guide to Achieving and Affording Your Life Goals. "But the spending party is over." Credit enables the impulse buys and discretionary spending that kill us, he says. (Consider that it can cost $26,000 to pay off a $10,000 credit-card debt.) Abboud recommends an envelope system, in which you use cash set aside for different types of expenses. "Let’s say you have $200 cash per pay set aside for entertainment," he explains. "Go ahead and spend, but when it’s gone, you have to wait to get paid again." This kind of system keeps your finances—and financial arguments with your partner—in check.
Touch your partner more. "Affectionate touching is an easy way to stay connected as it raises your oxytocin levels—your bonding hormone," says Dr. Trina Read a Calgary sexologist and author of Till Sex Do Us Part: Make Your Married Sex Irresistible (Key Porter). Plus, it’s a great way to get your mind off your finances!
Take old cans of paint, solvents or varnishes to your local hazardous waste depot. That’s just one of many ways to detoxify your home and prevent groundwater contamination from the Toxic Nation program, recommended by Jennifer Foulds of Environmental Defence. Visit the site to download letters urging governments to mandate reductions of, or bans on, polluting toxins, too.
Eat healthier, one meal at a time. Breakfast is a great place to start, so be sure to enjoy some protein from eggs, nuts or yogurt, fruit or berries and a whole-grain, high-fibre cereal. "It’s been proven that eating breakfast has a big impact on our weight, how we eat for the rest of the day, our mood and how well we function," explains Edie Shaw-Ewald, a registered dietitian in Halifax, NS.
Be generous with your time. "Since we are heading into a harder economic period, it makes sense to be as giving as we can be—with our money, our time, our kindnesses and our tolerance," suggests Kyoko Morii, a Toronto receptionist and mother of one. Now that’s great advice for 2009 and beyond!
Why I Stopped Making New Year’s Resolutions
A list of the top reasons to be a January underachiever—and a year-round success, from Sarah Richardson and others
The new trend in New Year’s resolutions may be not making any at all. The funny thing is, psychology experts say that’s just fine. Sarah Richardson, host of HGTV’s Sarah's House 2, Room Service and design inc., for one, doesn’t believe in resolutions . “January is a bleak enough month without having to give up the things you love!” she says. “I think you should eat well, live well, be kind to others and make your home fabulous all 12 months.”
Richard Koestner, a McGill University psychology professor who studies human motivation, tends to agree (aside from the decorating). “January 1st is kind of arbitrary—it’s a cold, very busy time of the year,” he says. Instead, it might be a good time to review your successes in 2008, and start thinking about how to build on those. There may also be merit in accepting yourself as you are, Koestner says, or at least making major, personally motivated transformations in a more amenable month. Being pressured into a New Year’s resolution can actually set you up for failure, he says, because your goal may not be in tune with your personal interests.
Your birthday, for example, may be a time when you’re more prepared to change. That works for Caren Watkins, a Toronto editor and mother of one. “I view resolutions as an opportunity to do something exciting or unexpected, usually for my birthday,” she says. “When I turned 30, for instance, I learned how to figure skate, and even mastered a single toe loop! It provided great moments and I got into shape.”
Positive resolutions that really connect with your true interests and values may also be more effective than giving things up. Christine Bodt, a Canadian teacher in Beijing, stopped making negative resolutions last January. “I had an ‘A-ha!’ moment chatting with fellow travelers in India and Nepal last year,” she says. “We were talking about how crummy and guilty you feel one month in, when you realize you’re not following your resolutions. So, now I make positive resolutions, like, ‘I will be kinder to myself’ or ‘I will try a new recipe once a week’.”
Kyoko Morii, a Toronto receptionist, made a resolution to stop making resolutions altogether about five years ago. “I thought that they set me up to fail and I didn’t want to live with that disappointment,” she explains. Instead of focusing on losing weight on January 1st, for instance, she concentrates on overall health, wellness and feeling stronger year round. That approach helped her drop pounds swiftly after her recent Caesarean section. “I made myself walk a little more everyday, and my doctor cleared me to start running again within seven weeks of the surgery.”
Let’s be clear: choosing not to make a New Year’s resolution isn’t a free pass to continue unhealthy habits like smoking, binge eating or drinking too much. When you’re serious about changing your behaviour, though, just do it right. After all, 25 percent of people drop their resolution after one week and almost 50 percent drop it after a month, says Koestner. With that in mind, enhance your chances of success by making goals that are specific, measurable and well-planned, with a written outline about how you’ll make them happen and how you’ll overcome challenges. A specific action plan will help counter the fact that most people have limited willpower.
Sam Gosling, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin and author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You, knows this all too well. “A couple of years ago, I resolved to become that person with the organized CD collection, where I’d be able to put my hand immediately on any CD I wanted to play,” he says. Yet a week after alphabetizing his collection in some new IKEA CD drawers, he was back to his disorganized ways. “Change is possible, but it’s very difficult to make major changes,” he explains. “So, my resolution is to stop torturing myself with unrealistic expectations, and to reconcile myself with who I am.”
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